Is there ever really a beginning, though, to something that has been for awhile? The magic of living is not that you get to create a new version of yourself, but that you get to constantly discover things you didn't know you were.
Take last night at the gym. I have never been a runner. I have slogged my way through the first few weeks of Couch to 5K (hasn't everyone?) but have never felt at ease with it. But my husband wanted to go, and as I am doing the first week AGAIN I hopped on a treadmill beside him. I did my prescribed 30 seconds on--90 seconds off--repeat 8 times, but then I had an idea. My thought was that I could just sprint it out to finish. For considerations of balance I needed Nick to turn my speed up as I just maintained my pace, so he stood next to me and punched my speed up until I felt like I couldn't keep my feet under me.
I ran at 7.6 mph. ME! Perish the thought. But then, this is the even weirder part...I did it again. This time I just set the treadmill to 8.0 and hopped on. I could only maintain that pace for 15 seconds, but I did it! I felt strong, too. I felt--dare I say--coordinated. Imagine that.
On that same vein, I have always "known" how to sew. My mom made all of our clothes when we were little, and sewing has always been a part of our lives. I've always known how to navigate a fabric store, always known how to care for cloth and read a pattern. It was just always around me, and I basically learned by osmosis. This last year, though, I have thrown myself into quilting with a passion and a focus that surprises me. I am absorbed in my sewing. It entrances me. I can sew for hours, and eventually look up and realize that it's 3am and time for bed...after I finish this piece! Quilting is my heart and soul in a way nothing else ever has been. That's the best explanation I can offer. It's like a part of me that was missing was found again, and I'm grateful every day.
Though, of course, I'm anything but a "standard" quilter. (Is there such a thing?) I make up my own patterns. I get ideas from books and see how I can apply them. I love batiks and quite dislike traditional "country" patterns. I will occasionally just sew two pieces of fabric together to see what happens. One of my favorite ideas right now is to take all my batik scraps, sew them all together in one big sheet, and then cut it up again to sew back together. Could be awesome, could be nothing special. I'll never know until I try it!
I have a gym class to run off to right now, but I'm sewing this afternoon. More later!
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